The International Veterans Coffee Group started in 2017 after Rosemary Fahrenkrug and Barry Leisegang saw a need for better veteran support in the Blaine and Birch Bay area. The group, which meets every Wednesday from 1 p.m. to 3 p.m. at the Bridge Hope Community Center in Birch Bay, allows veterans to talk about what’s on their minds, from relationships to post-traumatic stress disorder.
Fahrenkrug, a U.S. Air Force veteran who served as a nurse in the Vietnam War, had just arrived in Whatcom County in 2017 after a storied career working all over the world on mental health services for military members. While taking a course on traumatology and grief, Fahrenkrug met Lee and Rosemary Connors, who run the Bridge Community Hope Center and introduced her to Leisegang.
Fahrenkrug said she expected to stay for only three weeks but she now considers the group’s veterans her family.
“I said, ‘But I don’t live here, I’m just temporary.’ Lee and Rosemary just laughed and said ‘OK, you can think you’re temporary but God sent you,’” Fahrenkrug recounted. “Three years later and I’m still here.”
Leisegang co-founded Dakota Creek Church 15 years ago with Lee Connors and works as a behavioral health associate at PeaceHealth’s emergency room in Bellingham. Leisegang, who had read about suicide rates among veterans but didn’t have a military background, agreed to be the coffee group’s facilitator if Fahrenkrug was the vet. A 2019 report from the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs listed the suicide rate for veterans as 1.5 times higher than the rate for non-veterans, exceeding 6,000 deaths per year.
Leisegang and Fahrenkrug agreed on meeting over coffee to accommodate those who didn’t want to be around alcohol. Leisegang said he wanted to have a small group localized to the Blaine and Birch Bay community.
“Nothing heals a veteran more than caring,” Fahrenkrug said. “If you don’t know what to do, just sit next to them as another human being. You don’t need to be an expert, just loving and willing to help.”
The group has met every Wednesday at the Bridge’s community center, which also hosts services for low-income families in the area including free meal distribution, a discounted boutique, learning center for remote students and a cafe.
Since Covid-19, the group has dwindled from about 10 weekly members to a handful, Leisegang said, adding that the group will accommodate more members with safe social distancing and additional masks.
“It’s all about helping people stay connected. It’s not a tough thing to do, but when it’s not there, you notice it.”
Attendees vary from all ages, and Fahrenkrug said the older ones often don’t need help anymore but come to give advice to the younger members who recently finished serving.
“It’s just a group of people who hopefully become your friends who are there for you and you’re there for,” Leisegang said.
The meetings are held in a private boardroom in the community center. As everyone arrives, the veterans greet each other and catch up on their week. They’ll then form a circle and share their experiences that week.
A confidential group allows a safe space for veterans to vent and find understanding among each other, Leisegang said. Connection is crucial in the pandemic because if people aren’t connecting, small stresses become big, he added.
The group hasn’t conducted virtual meetings because it can be hard for members to talk about mental health at home, Fahrenkrug said.
“It’s all about helping people stay connected,” Leisegang said. “It’s not a tough thing to do, but when it’s not there, you notice it.”
Bill Wilder, a former U.S. Army recovery specialist who served active duty from 1976 to ‘79 and reserve duty until 1982, has attended the meetings weekly for the past two years. Wilder learned about the meetings after talking with Leisegang during an ER visit. Wilder said he joined the group right away because of his interest in supporting veterans and he had always been proud of his military history.
Wilder recovered broken down vehicles for two years in Anchorage, Alaska and remembers fond memories of his daughter’s birth in Anchorage’s Air Force hospital and inviting soldiers over to cook their favorite childhood meals for Thanksgiving in 1977. But more than sharing his story, Wilder likes listening to other veterans’ stories.
“I like to listen to the older guys’ stories, their accomplishments, especially in Vietnam,” he said. “I feel like a little child listening to a Christmas story.”
Leisegang said his favorite part of the meetings is seeing the sincerity of members when they thank each other for attending.
“When people say ‘I’m really glad you came,’ it makes it all very much worthwhile,” he said. “It only takes a moment to change someone’s week.”
Military members develop tight-knit bonds while in service and can struggle to find a place to belong when returning to the civilian world, Leisegang said.
Members won’t meddle or intervene in another member’s life, but will work to get someone the support they need, whether that is navigating Veterans Affairs benefits or giving a hand, Leisegang said.
“It’s part of them to always continue to serve, some of them have been through a lot of things, some of them are still going through a lot of things but they have this get-up-and-go attitude,” Leisegang said.
The group started so that no veteran in the community would die by suicide. So far, the group has succeeded in its mission.
“It would be a terrible thing to not take care of veterans after their time served,” Leisegang said.
Leisegang encourages anyone interested to visit the International Veterans Coffee Group on Wednesdays. For more information, call the Bridge at 360/366-8763 or go to
thebridgehope.com.
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