January 9: A man came to the police station and explained that he had just crossed the border. He demanded that officers contact the CIA as he needed to be debriefed from his mission in Canada where he had been living deep undercover for some time. Since he was on a federal assignment and had possibly crossed the border without inspection, police explained that it was only proper for elite border patrol investigators to be called in to assume jurisdiction. U.S.B.P. agents responded to meet the gent. Officers anticipate it will be some time before they are forgiven.
January 12: The court clerk advised of a potential disruption brewing, involving a pick yielding guitar player who was serenading the chamber prior to court beginning. The captive audience didn’t seem to mind the children’s melodies, but court officials wanted officers to be on the same sheet of music should the disruption continue once court was in session. They had nothing to fret over, as the judge was quite capable of changing the strummer’s tune or supplying him with extra bars if needed.
February 1: An officer patrolling 6th Street contacted a man who was desperately but unsuccessfully trying to overcome his inebriation long enough to find his front door. Officers gave the pickled pedestrian a ride to his house and then helped him inside to avoid a nose to driveway collision.
February 15: A neighbor heard screaming late at night and then saw a car leave the area. Officers contacted the home from whence the screaming originated. They learned that an ex-girlfriend was upset over how well and quickly her ex-boyfriend had adjusted to being single. His new friend left the house after being screamed at.
February 16: A truck driver on Boblett Street reported seeing a man place a suspicious package under a cone near the fuel pumps. Officers checked the scene and found one marijuana joint under the cone. The marijuana was confiscated. A police officer’s business card was left in its place asking the finder to call police if he wanted to claim his property.
May 13: A lady reporting that her little dog was missing from home contacted police. Officers were advised to keep their eyes wide open for a black pugapoohuahua named Krypto. The pug poodle/Chihuahua mix was last seen on H Street near 5th.
May 14: A resident on D Street near Allan Street investigated a commotion behind her house and came around the corner to meet face to face with Fuzzy Wuzzy. The fleet footed homeowner landed in the back of a nearby pickup. Her screams motivated Mr. Bear to meander over to the neighbor’s yard to devour all their squirrel food. He was back in the woods by the time officers arrived. Fish and wildlife agents recommend that folks in the neighborhood secure their garbage cans and remove other food sources like outside pet and critter foods.
June 16: Police responded to a report that a teenager hanging out at the public pier on Marine Drive with friends had exposed himself in the presence of small children. An officer located and contacted the teen. He said that his swimming trunks had accidentally slipped down as he was jumping from the pier into Drayton Harbor. He insisted he had been embarrassed but not indecent and other witnesses at the scene confirmed his story. The water was very cold, and there was no visible evidence of a crime.
September 3: An officer stopped a vehicle on Peace Portal Drive for failing to stop at a stop sign and contacted the driver. The 14-year-old motorist told the officer that he did not have a driver’s license, identification, insurance or registration. The young man was arrested for operating a motor vehicle and without a valid operator’s license without I.D. He was released after processing and a case report was prepared for the juvenile prosecutor. His adult brother-in law had allowed him to drive the car. He was arrested for allowing an unauthorized driver to operate a motor vehicle and released with a mandatory court date.
September 18: A B.C. family stopped in Blaine to shop on their way home from Disneyland. They stocked up on supplies but left a beach bag containing their cameras, passports and other valuables in the shopping cart when they departed. The bag was gone when they returned to the store. Police were called to the scene but were not able to locate it or any witnesses. The grieving family drove home without their photographs and videos of their vacation. They arrived at their house to find a voicemail message from another B.C. resident and Good Samaritan, who had found the bag in the shopping cart and secured it for them. It’s a small and friendly world after all.
September 18: Police contacted an intoxicated man dressed in a t-shirt, shorts and flip-flops walking down D Street in the cold, wet rain at 1 a.m. The gent explained he was looking for his vehicle, so he could climb in and get some rest. He was at risk at becoming hypothermic and the public was at risk if he actually found his car. To avoid either outcome, an officer transported him to his residence in the county a short distance from town. He agreed to wait until he was sober before continuing the search for his vehicle.
September 19: Police received a report from a 15th Street resident that prowlers, possibly kids, have been sneaking around outside his house at night. Small items have disappeared from his deck over the past few days. Really small items, such as discarded cigarette butts. Officers are keeping an eye out for youthful nicotine addicts in the area.
September 20: A resident on 15th Street called police to report that, for the second night in a row, the cigarette butts were stolen from the ashtray on the deck behind his house. Extra patrol will be provided. Honest.
September 20: An officer standing in the police station noticed that the lady motoring by the front window and up H Street appeared to be driving while distracted. It would have been difficult for her to keep her full attention on the road while holding that big glass smoking pipe to her face with one hand and a blazing lighter with the other. Officers on patrol were alerted and a few moments later stopped the motorist near H and Mitchell streets. A search by patrol K9 Dexter revealed two marijuana smoking pipes and a personal use amount of marijuana in the vehicle.
September 22: Officers were dispatched to U.S. customs at the Peace Arch port of entry to meet with an Oregon resident suffering a setback in his travels. The gentleman explained he had been headed to B.C. to meet with fellow CIA agents and the Queen about matters of national security but surprisingly had been denied entry to Canada. Officers discussed his situation with him and he agreed to turn over for safekeeping the .38 caliber revolver he was carrying, along with some of his larger and more dangerous edged weapons. Unfortunately he was unable to find his briefcase, which he explained contained nuclear missile launch codes. Officers confirmed he no longer had atomic capability and wished him well on his trip back to Oregon, or wherever he planned to meet the Queen.
October 6: Late Wednesday evening a motorist pulled out of an alley onto 8th Street and crossed the centerline into the path of an approaching car. The cars avoided colliding and the wrong way motorist was immediately contacted by police in a traffic stop made easier by the fact that the officer was driving the other car. The man’s driver’s license was suspended and he was arrested for that offense. A friend was called to the scene to collect the car but when he arrived it turned out that he was not able to legally drive either, because he was restricted to only driving cars with alcohol detecting ignition interlocks. In the end the suspended driver’s wife agreed to come rescue both men and the car.
October 6: Police stopped a vehicle after receiving information that the owner held a suspended driver’s license. At first the motorist provided a false name but relented when the officer pointed out to her that the nametag on the blouse she was wearing matched the name of the registered owner. Once that issue was settled the 48-year-old Ferndale resident was arrested for driving while suspended, obstructing a public officer and cited for other traffic infractions.
November 4: While on patrol, officers observed what appeared to be detritus abandoned during the nocturnal activities of the reclusive nighttime underage drinker. This rarely seen animal tends to congregate in groups to drink the juice from fermented plants, leaving behind a large number of aluminum cans, plastic cups and other debris.
November 9: A driver who had received a speeding ticket four days earlier came to court and presented a photo showing the judge that his speed was caused by the fact that the numbers on the speed limit sign were partly covered by white paint. An officer responded to the location and checked the sign. It had indeed been tampered with and so recently that the fresh white paint was still wet. The driver paid his fine. Police have a good lead on who may have defaced the sign.