Best of 2009 Police Reports

Published on Wed, Dec 30, 2009
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January 2: Officers were advised that a person being interviewed for a job at a convenience store stole 3 packs of cigarettes during a lull in the application process. When the theft was discovered the business invited the applicant to pay for the goods or face prosecution.  He paid up and withdrew his job application.

January 17: While on patrol an officer saw a man alongside Peace Portal, assuming a classic rustic outdoor posture normally reserved for stands of tall timber, not traffic signs. The officer contacted the subject and gave him a quick rundown on Washington state laws regarding lewd acts. The subject chose to use nearby porcelain facilities, in lieu of the stainless model that the county provides at the jail. Or is that “in loo of”…

March 16: An E Street resident came in to the police department to report that an prankster had knocked on her door late on Friday the 13th. Saturday morning she stepped outside to find her porch awash in Silly String. Officers were not able to tie the loose ends to a suspect.

April 2: A Blaine resident met and befriended a transient who was passing through town after being deported from Canada. The two sat down and drank some beer together. Police soon arrived at the scene of the party. An officer explained to the pair that WTA did not stand for We Transport Alcohol, and it was illegal to drink in a public place like a sidewalk bus stop. The convivial consumers had tried to hide the beer, but their actions were hard to miss since the Plexiglas bus stop shares a street corner with the entrance to the police station. Both men were provided criminal citations to memorialize their meeting.

April 6: A person who was deported from Canada arrived in Blaine. He asked police for a ride to the nearest free lodging for visitors, and wanted to report a UFO crash. Officers were not able to determine if the man's lack of transportation was a direct consequence of the crash, but his idea of heading south seemed mutually beneficial. His request for assistance was facilitated.

May 8: Blaine police were contacted by a transient who wanted to officially document a sighting. He explained that when he was in another community a couple of days earlier, he saw a pale-skinned blonde lady with dilated eyes. The transient believed the lady should have been trespassed from society because of her appearance. An officer carefully recorded the reporting party's statements, and wished him well on his sojourn in to Canada.

May 21: A resident called police to report that her car had been vandalized. Officers responded and investigated. They discovered that what looked like scratches on the car's hood were actually the collision skid marks from high velocity bees slip-sliding through the pollen dust on the car’s finish. The pollen was removed, and with it the offending skid marks.

June 2: WCSO asked Blaine PD to handle a domestic dispute in Birch Bay off Bay Road. Two Blaine officers responded and contacted a bemused family who was having dinner at home. It turned out that a few minutes earlier they had been talking very loudly on the phone to a hearing impaired grandmother. A concerned neighbor had misinterpreted their shouts to granny, called 911.

June 10: Police observed a Birch Bay resident, who was known to have a suspended drivers license, motoring on Third Street. The man wasn’t hard to spot. He had just left a municipal court session, after visiting the judge to discuss a previous arrest for Driving While Suspended a week earlier. Officers confirmed with the department of licensing that the man’s license was still suspended, then arrested him and booked him into jail.

June 15: A passerby reported that a sculpture of a human figure on display downtown had been enhanced, in a way that provided offense to some and bemusement to others. The artwork was not permanently damaged, but modifying it so prominently amounted to Disorderly Conduct. A city staff member returned Red Man to a more natural state of non-tumescence.

June 29: A person contacted police for assistance. He had a faint memory of being arrested the previous day. But, he did not know where he was at when arrested, which agency arrested him, or what had happened to his rental car. Nor could he find any of the paperwork he had been given at the time. Officers reminded him that he had been arrested by Blaine police five days earlier for Driving while Impaired on SR 543, with open containers of Absinthe at his side. They helped him find the towing company so he could collect his personal effects from the rental car he would no longer be driving.

July 11: Shortly before 1 a.m., police contacted a woman sitting at a bus stop on H Street, hours after the last bus had departed. The lady introduced herself as the Queen of Blaine, then as the Chief of Burien, and further explained that she was in charge of the entire Washington State Patrol. She declined to provide information about any family or friends who might be able to assist her, explaining that she was “born of a test tube in Canada.” Ultimately officers were able to identify her, and found the return portion of her valid round trip ticket back to her home in Burien. The Queen was provided a royal ride in the finest vehicle from her fleet of Blaine police department patrol vehicles, directly to the Bellingham Airport to catch her bus.

August 17: Shortly after midnight a person called police asking for a phone call from an officer in reference to a non emergent question. When an officer returned the call, the person wanted the officer’s name. The name was given. The person wanted to know how to spell it. This was done. The person wanted the officer’s name again. It was given. The person wanted it spelled again. This was done. The person asked the officer’s name again. It was given. The person wanted it spelled again. The officer asked her if she needed to speak to an officer. She became upset and stated that she needed the spelling of the last name. The officer asked her again what she needed a police officer for. She refused to answer, stating she would call a supervisor. The phone call was terminated and dispatch was advised.

August 31: A real estate agent called police when she lost contact with her client and was unable to re-contact him because his phone had rung busy for almost two hours. The client was elderly and the agent was concerned about his welfare. Officers located the client, sound asleep at home with his phone off of the hook. He was bemused about the attention, and commented, “What did you expect from an 80-year-old?”

September 10: Officers were dispatched to a report of a person trapped in a mudslide between Peace Portal Drive and the railroad. They arrived to find the victim homeowner in a berry dire predicament. A few minutes earlier he had had been trimming the blackberries behind his house, blissfully unaware that the large bushes hid a slippery edge between his property and a steep embankment. He took one final step, and the gravity of his situation became suddenly clear. After a several yard fall through the mud and shrubs, the blackberry thorns dragged him to a halt. It took a bunker geared fire crew with ladders to extract the gentleman. Aside from obvious scratches and a berry stained ego, he was unharmed. Officers are recommending him for a new Deadly Yard of Week Award.

October 17: Police were contacted by a Langley, B.C. visitor who reported that he was having a really bad day. The victim had walked down from Canada to deposit some money, but arrived to find that his bank was closed. Then he realized he could not use the ATM, because he could not remember his pin number. The poor guy was walking back to Canada when he realized that he had misplaced the cash-laden envelope. Officers searched the area unsuccessfully, hoping to salvage some portion of the man’s journey.

October 29: A truck stop cashier asked officers to trespass a woman from the property, as she was suspected of drinking beer in the business lounge and getting frisky with the truck drivers. Police located the inebriated lady, who had a lengthy criminal record and a non-extraditable arrest warrant from another state. At the business’s request they trespassed her indefinitely from the truck stop buildings and the truck parking lot. She left the area.

December 6: Officers were dispatched to the 100 block of Marine Drive, to escort a disruptive intoxicated passenger off the southbound Amtrak. Police and border patrol agents contacted the noisy but cooperative man. They also got to meet his equally noisy and intoxicated but less friendly brother. Both men ended up on the siding, waving to the departing train. They were steered back to their native soil.